From the Gay Life forum:

"I had my first man date last night. He's a really nice guy and really cute. We had great conversations, but I'm not feeling an instant connection. The more we hung out, the more relaxed I felt and enjoyed my time with him. I guess what I'm wondering is, how many dates should it take before you can reasonably decide if it's worth continuing a relationship?"

Members respond:

• "If you got on well the first date, then give it a chance. We can be so full of nerves the first date, we don't realise how much we really might like the person sitting in front of us." -Gullivertale


• "I always say there is nothing wrong with giving someone a second chance. If your instincts suggest to you that you might just be missing something in this guy even after the third date then give him another go just to see. But if you feel nothing at all then it makes sense at that point to just move on." -Tony


• "I would suggest mixing it up and doing a variety of things on your first couple dates so you get to know what he's like in a variety of circumstances." -Pulsar41


• "You really ought to feel SOME connection, almost immediately. A 'right' person for you should feel a little more comfortable than that." -KavaKava2

How long does it take to get to the center of a sweet connection?

My response:

Each time that I've found love, I knew it from the moment we met. There was just something there that made us inseparable. Even before I got to know them better, I knew we'd be together for a long while (and we were). Now, the reason why they didn't last is an entirely different post; but as far as recognizing an initial connection, sparks can fly right away.

Now, this isn't to say connections aren't made over time. Not everyone's fairy tale plays out in the same way because getting to know someone takes time. During the first few dates you're feeling each other out for the first time. More than likely, you're both more awkward and nervous than you would be normally. Also, when just meeting someone, tend to have our "walls" up and at full guard. Once you spend more time together, in a variety of situations, you may discover things about the other person that were previously buried in the fray of first date nerves.

Connections happen on levels that are often indicated by our gut or instincts. You'll know what feels right. You might discover that he is or isn't the one right away. Or, it may take time. Time, however, is always on your side. Eventually, things will play out as they should.

Image: Bill Ling/Getty

"I have recently begun my coming out process and have found it to be a real reality check," Gay Life reader Chris shares. "On day one I felt everything change, including my eyes. What do I have to look forward to in my coming out process? What thoughts do you have for a newly gay guy like myself?"

Image: © Jim Arbogast/Getty

Anywhere she wanted to go, we told her. Vegas is what she chose. Not my number one choice for a birthday celebration, but my mom is too adorable to ignore, too giving to deny. So I hopped on a plane to Sin City. If you ask me, it's one big Times Square with the privilege of open container street boozing. But as they say, when in Vegas...

It wasn't about me, though. It was her weekend. She likes to gamble. Not the lose-your-home-and-savings type of coin dropping; the tease type that mostly takes a few twenties, but every once in a while rewards with a few dramatic grand.

The bells and whistles and crisp bill losing is not for me (I'd rather lose my coins at the Apple Store), but for her it's all one big gamble. Not just her slots, but life in general. You never know what might happen, she says. Sure the odds are in their favor, but every once in a while—sometimes more than not—fortune slants your way. And when it does it's worth the risk.

I stood on the sidelines in a cloud of smoke, scantily-costumed waitresses and flashing lights and thought about my life and what level of risk I normally take. A good friend once told me, "If you're going to live, live!" The great Marvin Gaye once sang: "Since we've got to be here, lets live."

I thought, how often did I just drop a coin, which could represent my guard or my ego, at the longest of odds? Very few times. Yet I always, as if entitled to it, expected a big pay off.

When it comes to dating and relationships, the hookup is still alive and easy, but the dates (or the men, I should say) of today expect a little effort to establish and grow anything significant. They expect risk and proof that all gay men aren't clichés, sex feines, false ads or full of golden dust.

It's understandable that some of us protect our coins. When you've lost so many how can you stand to lose any more? But much of gay life is anticipation followed by frustration: the angst of coming out, followed the weight of what's next; the thrill of desiring love, trailed by difficulties finding it; the liberation of freely expressing oneself amid realities that not everyone is comfortable with who you are

Yet there are two sides to every coin and the rewards, although not always immediate, are not impossible. If mom's slot machine doesn't pay off, she waits, gives it a chance (to a limit), then takes her remainings to a machine that might treat her more kind. Then she starts anew, not weighed down by the losses of before, but with a hope that that a particular one will be the one.

After our first slot-filled night she bought dinner. As life would have it, the next tab was on me. But, despite it all, I couldn't help but notice that until our plane had left the tarmac and regardless of all outcomes she never stopped playing the game.

Image © Medioimages/Photodisc

In a bold move Thursday, the New Delhi High Court decriminalized consensual sex between gay men by repealing Section 377 of the India's Penal Code.

India Penal Code Chapter XVI, Section 377 punished "whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal." Sex between same gender individuals was considered an act against nature. Violations were punishable by a prison term of up to 10 years and possible fines.

The issuing officiate, Justice S. Muralidhar, wrote: “This Court believes that Indian Constitution reflects this value deeply ingrained in Indian society. Those perceived by the majority as deviants or ‘different’ are not on that score excluded or ostracized. Where society can display inclusiveness and understanding, such persons can be assured of a life of dignity and nondiscrimination.”

The reversal comes just days after gay pride marches in Delhi, Kolkata, and Bangalore.

Although challenges for LGBT people in India still remain, the ruling could mark significant improvements in way queer-identified people are treated in the country.

The Huffington Post reports: "Section 377 was often used to blackmail gay couples for money or sexual favors, and posed a great hindrance to HIV/AIDS prevention initiatives, as homosexuals, who, according to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation are amongst the groups most susceptible to the disease, were afraid to seek help in fear of prosecution."

After the repeal of Section 377 India's LGBT activists celebrated with tears, raised flags, and smears of vermillion, a traditional custom marking future success and prosperity.

More on gay life in India.

Image: A gay couple kiss in their home in New Delhi, India. © Getty.